Brimming
Sure enough, she was greeted by her friends, laughing and howling to one another.
“There you are Andy!,” Guinn shouted, running to the demigod. She knelt down to hug her friend who smiled softly.
“I told you guys she would be here! This is where she always is,” Peter reasoned, crossing his arms over his brooding chest.
Andy glanced at him but didn’t say anything as she stood up. “Thank you for checking up on me, but I’m okay.”
Marla looked down at her feet. “We were worried. You were gone for hours and missed dinner.” Her voice was so soft, they could barely hear it, but Andy nodded.
“Sorry. I got distracted.” She gestured to her sketchpad.
“When are we going to see what’s in your sketchpad?” Guinn wondered excitedly.
“Yeah, you always keep it a secret but spend all your time with your head buried in it” Penny piped up.
“If Andy wants to keep her sketchbook to herself then we should respect her privacy,” Miles added, putting an arm around Andy’s shoulder.
“Thanks, Miles. I just… don’t like showing my art.” She looked down, hugging her sketchbook to her chest. “Maybe someday I will be comfortable enough to show you.” She smiled nervously and started walking back to camp.
The group walked through the forest together, Guinn and Peter starting an argument about whether pancakes or waffles were better, while Marla and Penny talked in hush tones behind them. Andy stood next to Miles in the front, stuck in her own thoughts.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Miles asks.
Penny jerked her head up in the back. “What?”
Miles rolled his eyes and Andy chuckled. “Nothing!,” he called back.
“My thoughts are worth way more than a penny,” Andy stated.
“Of course they are. Then what must I give you to hear what’s going on in that head of yours.”
Andy Shrugged, eyes sparkling mischievously. “Maybe you’ll never know.”
“Andy and her secrets. Someday I’m going to crack that tough exterior.”
“Tough? I hardly think I’m tough”
“Oh, so you don’t think the girl who landed Niall in the infirmary for three weeks because he had a broken spine is tough?”
Andy cringed. “I didn’t mean to do that,” She said defensively.
Miles threw his hands up as if Andy were to beat him into a pulp right then. “Then imagine what you could do if you did mean to do it”
Andy clutched her sketchbook, knuckles turning white.
“Hey, hey” Miles takes her hand and gently pries it from her sketchbook. She lets him massage her free hand while the hand with the sketchbook drops to her side. “Nobody blames you for what happened.”
“But it’s still my fault.” Andy looked away, trying to stop the tears from falling.
“Miles, tell this girl she’s insane!” Peter called out from behind them.
“You’re insane, Guinn,” he said without hesitation, not taking his eyes off of Andy. He swept his hand through his thick, brown hair, the curls swooping back into place immediately afterward. “You can’t keep beating yourself up for what you did. Niall is okay and he has forgiven you. It’s time for you to forgive yourself.” He squeezed her hand.
She nodded, her hair falling into her face as she stared at the ground.
“You just don’t understand!” Guinn yelled, exasperated. “Andy, you agree with me don’t you?”
Miles turned to her, eyes saying not now.
Andy replied half-heartedly. “Of course, Guinn. You’re always right.”
Guinn ran up next to her. “Andy, what’s wrong?”
Miles immediately let go of her hand, looking between them.
“I’m fine,” Andy lied, forcing a smile on her face.
Guin’s brow creased. “Andy, we have been friends for years, and you think I’m going to fall for your ‘I’m fine’ bit? What kind of friend do you think I am?”
Andy chuckled, some of the light returning to her bright green eyes.
“She’s probably just mulling over her dumb sketchbook,” Peter rolled his eyes. “I mean, it’s like a baby blanket, she carries it around everywhere!”
“Peter,” Miles warned, fire burning in his deep brown eyes.
“What? I’m just speaking the truth. Have you ever seen her without it?”
“Has anyone ever seen you say anything worthwhile?” Guinn bit back.
“Hey, guys, no need to--,” Penny chided.
“I say plenty worthwhile,” Peter growled.
“Guys, we don’t--” Marla piped up softly.
“All you do is whine whine whine.” Guinn’s eyes flared.
“Guys, please stop,” Andy mumbled, her head aching. She hugged her sketchbook to her chest.
Miles threw his arm around her “C’mon, let’s just go.” He guided her through the woods until they reached the strawberry fields.
Peter ran behind the two, grabbing the sketchbook from Andy’s grip. “What even is in here?” He started to open it.
“Give that back,” Andy cried, voice rising.
“Peter, hand it over.” Miles’s voice was low and menacing.
“Or what?” He opened the book and Andy lunged for it but he transported himself a few feet away, letting Andy land flat on her face. Miles ran over to help her up.
Marla and Penny held each other, watching in horror.
“You bully! Give that back!” Guinn screamed.
“Who are these people?” Peter wondered, flipping through the pages.
Andy felt her world spinning, even as Miles held her. She felt lost and confused as she watched Peter flip through her journal. He carelessly looked through the book that took her years to perfect. The sketches that depicted her entire life were etched into those thin sheets of paper. All her hopes and dreams, her fears and regrets. They were being rifled through without any hint of remorse.
Her hands started shaking. She couldn’t hear the screeches of Guinn or the soft voice of Miles beside her. She couldn’t even hear the whispers of the strawberries that surrounded her. All she could hear was the blood pumping in her veins. Vines started slithering up Peter, but he was too busy smirking with his eyes buried in her sketchbook.
They climbed up his legs and surrounded his torso. Peter looked down finally, and panic filled his eyes. He tried burning the vines, but they were thicker than he expected, and just kept running up his legs. Andy’s eyes bore down on him, her mind no longer her own. She was possessed by rage, letting it encapsulate her until the power she wielded would listen to nothing else.
Miles tried to break her gaze, but her hand pushed him back, and he fell into the field. The vines squeezed Peter, his eyes growing in panic, gasping for air, but Andy didn’t care. She wanted him to suffer. Finally, the sketchbook fell onto the ground, and Peter’s face turned purple. A calmness settled onto Andy’s body and she released her hold on the vines. They fell to the ground, Peter with them, gasping for air. Guinn and Penny rushed to him, helping him up.
Andy turned around to find Marla’s hand on her shoulder, her eyes closed. Miles’s eyes were filled with worry and… fear? Andy looked back at Peter, who was holding his throat.
She looked down at her hands. They were shaking. She had done this. She had hurt one of her friends again. She couldn’t control herself. She looked once more at Miles before dashing into the woods, tears spilling down her face.
“Andy!,” Miles called.
She didn’t turn back; just kept running, trying to hear the soothing voices of the trees around her, but only the pumping of her heart rang in her head. Her eyes blurred, and she sobbed, heaving for air.
Why did I do it? Why do I keep hurting the people I love? I-- I can’t control my powers. They’re too much. I want them gone. I want them gone. I want…
“... them gone!” She called out falling to the ground. She curled up in a ball, letting her tears water the grass below her, not caring when the vines wrapped themselves around her, trapping her in a cocoon.
She laid there for hours or minutes. Seconds or years. She didn’t know which one. She didn’t care. She laid there until her eyes went dry and then she laid there longer. She couldn’t keep the image of Peter’s face turning purple in her death grip out of her mind. She hated seeing the fear that filled Miles’ eyes. She could never go back.
She laid still until she heard the soft whispers from the forest. “Someone’s coming”
She curled herself into a tighter ball, clenching her eyes shut.
“Andy.” a soothing voice called down to her. “Please come out.”
Miles. He had come for her. The vines slowly started peeling away, revealing her.
“We miss you.” Guinn. Her voice was comforting, like ocean waves meeting the shore.
Andy peeked her eyes up at them. Miles handed her the sketchbook and she grabbed it from him, chucking it into the forest, eyes tearing up as sobs threatened to escape. That was the thing that she wanted to protect so badly? That piece of leather-bound paper? She was willing to kill one of my friends for that? She was appalled with herself, sinking further into disarray.
“Andy, please talk to us. You have been here for hours.” Guinn wrests her hand gently on her knee, making Andy tense.
“I deserve to wither here and die.” She didn’t notice the grass around her was drained of color.
“No, you don't,” Miles pleaded. “Peter was being a jerk, and you had every right to be upset.”
She clenched her eyes shut, knowing tears would spill if she had any left. “Enough to kill?” she mumbled.
“You didn’t kill him, Andy. He’s okay.” Guinn soothes.
“Just like Niall is okay, and Jason. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t hurt them! What if this happens again and I do more? I can’t control my powers when I’m like that! I don’t know how!!” Her voice rose.
The two friends shared glances.
“You were too young to know how to control your powers with Jason.” Miles reasoned.
“He was my brother. He was so little. He almost died. He was in the hospital for so long I thought he would have died.” She cried through her hands.
“But he didn't,” Guinn repeated.
“STOP SAYING THAT!” Andy sat up, eyes red. “THAT’S NOT THE POINT! ONE DAY I COULD AND THEN WHAT. I’m a danger to everyone around me. Everyone I care about. I’m a danger to you.” She looked at both of them, eyes filled with sorrow. “I did all of this for the sake of a stupid journal.”
“Andy, stop this. You can’t keep doing this. You will learn how to control your powers in whatever state you’re in. You know why? Because we are not giving up on you. And you aren’t giving up on yourself either, okay?” Miles demanded. His intense brown eyes stare into Andy’s.
“But what if-”
“No. There is no what if. You are strong and we love you too much to let you give up on yourself.” He paused as if wrestling with himself before saying, “I love you”
Andy’s heart quickened and the grass around her started to grow back, luscious and green. Miles smiled, taking her hand into his. “Please Andy, I need you.”
She didn’t say a word, her heart beating madly.
“Will you come back?” Guinn added.
Andy nodded slowly, seeing the pleading look in their eyes. To have such friends that chase me down after I mess up this bad? This is worth coming back to.
Then she stood up, her friends supporting her on either side. She picked up her sketchbook and they walked back together. She smiled, finding comfort in knowing that her friends would always be there for her.
She sat in the glow of the setting sun, leaning against a tree, drawing comfort from the serenity of the forest around her. Anyone else might have thought it to be quiet, but not Andy. She could hear the leaves rustle in the wind, the birds chirping songs in the distance, and the twitter of the forest as gossip passed through, eventually making its way to her awaiting ears.
She focused on the flowers glow before her as she shaded every detail on her sketchpad. The colors were overwhelmingly beautiful, making the simple flower a masterpiece on her paper.
“Someone’s coming,” the grass hissed at her. She finished the last touch to her piece of art and closed her sketch pad before looking up.